Camping Skeptics Gifts

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

Future Tents

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats."

Wild, Wacky, Wild and Wacky

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

'And just exactly what would make you a happy camper?'

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

'For heaven's sake! We're only going to the caravan for a week!'

'I took the liberty of packing your backpack for you. As you can see, I like to pack light.'

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

'You'll never see me out jogging.'

'Nature makes me nervous!'

Stanley Middleton

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

"John's never been a fan of the static caravan."

"So is this the fun part, or will there be even bigger bugs sticking to my face soon?"

"I didn't say I hated camping - I said I didn't understand camping."

"I've never been much of a beach guy."

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

'About time... my parents are keeping me here against my will.'

'I told you these Time Share properties were a rip off!'

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

'God, what a dump!'

"Worst. . . timeshare. . . ever."

"George, that view in the brochure? It was painted on."