Outdoor Skeptics Gifts

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

The Farmer Sutra.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"No religious nuts!"

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

Caution - Poet at work

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

No crawling sign in the desert.

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

Carbon capture and storage

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

"We put him in the field but it didn't help."

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

"A movie? I would rather watch this!"

"I didn't spend seventeen days climbing this bloody mountain, in all weathers, for a lecture on personal hygiene!"

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

"First, I set the mood."

'We DO have a dress code up here, you know!'

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

"Je n'aime pas la nature!"

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"