Outdoor Skeptics Gifts

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

'By George, this one I think I'm going to like!'

"No religious nuts!"

The Farmer Sutra.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"I love the way it blurs the boundary between inside and out."

'Ah! The great INDOORS!'

'I became a bit claustrophobic living in a warren all the time: I prefer camping out now...'

Caution - Poet at work

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

Carbon capture and storage

No crawling sign in the desert.

"Our carbon footprint has been very, very good to us."

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

"We put him in the field but it didn't help."

"By the way, some of us have begun to feel that 'Because it's there' is not reason enough."

"I didn't spend seventeen days climbing this bloody mountain, in all weathers, for a lecture on personal hygiene!"

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

"First, I set the mood."

"A movie? I would rather watch this!"

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

'We DO have a dress code up here, you know!'

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

"Je n'aime pas la nature!"

'Nature makes me nervous!'