Nature's Skeptic Gifts

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Documentation Please

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Doing Something About the Weather

Science deniers Soc.

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.