Playful Skeptic Gifts

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Open House of Horrors

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

The Meaning of Life

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Well, I think we know who wears the pull-ups in that relationship.

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

"Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on."

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

The Birth of Philosophical Thought Experiments.

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

It was the day Malcolm found God.

"You're not the 'love 'em and leave 'em' type, are you?"