Humorous Skeptic Gifts

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

Three agnostics in a bar.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Open House of Horrors

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

Working On Silly String Theory.

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

"I see - Gravity keeps the Earth in orbit but love makes the world go 'round."

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'Excuse me, where's the nanotechnology department?' - 'You just trod on it.'

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.