Humorous Skeptic Gifts

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

Three agnostics in a bar.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Open House of Horrors

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"I see - Gravity keeps the Earth in orbit but love makes the world go 'round."

'Excuse me, where's the nanotechnology department?' - 'You just trod on it.'

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"You are gullible and naive. You believe untrained charlatans. You squander your money."