Humorous Skeptics Gifts

'You'll have to hang on a second, dear - I need to re-boot.'

'Neither snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night, will ever stop the US Postal Service...from raising rates.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

Open House of Horrors

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

"Well, yes. It was love at first sight. But only because I was drunk at the time."

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

Not so heavenly

"Hon, this is Mr Atherton. He's going to show us how we can commercially exploit our marriage."

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

"The test results are conclusive. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

"You are gullible and naive. You believe untrained charlatans. You squander your money."