Humorous Skeptics Pillows

'You'll have to hang on a second, dear - I need to re-boot.'

'Neither snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night, will ever stop the US Postal Service...from raising rates.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Open House of Horrors

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

Tunnel of Love.

"Well, yes. It was love at first sight. But only because I was drunk at the time."

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

Not so heavenly

'It's a Surgeon-General's warning.'

'Everytime I kiss him he says he can't breathe.'

"What do you want to do for Valentine's Day?"

"Hon, this is Mr Atherton. He's going to show us how we can commercially exploit our marriage."

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"The test results are conclusive. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

Foreign Policy Mysteries Revealed!