Skeptic Humorists Pillows

'I'm as generous as the next guy but I never give to secret fundraisers because I know for a fact that 120% of all the money goes on administration and these people all drive home in better cars than me.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

German School

"What are you doing?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack