Playful Skeptics Gifts

'I need a statement that I've been here for the past 15 minutes and read David Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Open House of Horrors

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"That reminds me of the time Hamlet and I – did I mention I knew Hamlet? – Hamlet and I..."

Microscope slide

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

"You awake?"

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

'I can't believe you think that hypnotist was for real.'

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

'Pardon me, Miss - My therapist told me I should let my inner child out to play, so of course I'll be needing a sister...'

'You'll have to hang on a second, dear - I need to re-boot.'

"Mum said it's OK for us to watch. So it can't be much good."

'Neither snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night, will ever stop the US Postal Service...from raising rates.'

'So God created the world in six days. Any sort of warranty on it?'

'Dad says our house has a skeptic system.'

'This study suggests that pessimists are a whole lot better at judging the true state of affairs than optimists...'

'Gold by post - send us your gold and we'll send you what we think it's worth.' 'There's mugs in them thar hills.'