Amused Skeptics Gifts

"Mum said it's OK for us to watch. So it can't be much good."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

Open House of Horrors

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"Podcasts, blech. It's like eavesdropping without the intrigue."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

Television repeated repeats Awards

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

'I can't believe you think that hypnotist was for real.'

When alchemy faded, chemistry began. When herbalism faded, medical science began. When astrology faded, space exploration began. I can't wait to see what happens after religion fades.

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

Ahmadinejad in New York.

'The ad said million dollar views!'

Hey! Everybody makes mistakes.

'You'll have to hang on a second, dear - I need to re-boot.'

'I need a statement that I've been here for the past 15 minutes and read David Hume's An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding.'

Being a federal regulator stinks. I'm supposed to police false advertising claims and keep consumers safe. But I have no resources and I'm decried as a bumbling, interfering government bureaucrat. Try our new anti-aging tea. It includes nutrients taken from the local soil proven to reduce stress, cure all disease and heal broken hearts. I'll take two, and the list of side effects in the fine print. Doesn't work. Can cause death.

'Neither snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night, will ever stop the US Postal Service...from raising rates.'

'So God created the world in six days. Any sort of warranty on it?'

Covid mRNA Snail Oil

'Gold by post - send us your gold and we'll send you what we think it's worth.' 'There's mugs in them thar hills.'

'This study suggests that pessimists are a whole lot better at judging the true state of affairs than optimists...'