Skeptic Enthusiasts Gifts

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Skeptic Tank.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

"Now do you believe me?"

Descartes's Demon

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"Thank you for not praying."

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

Ponzi Schemes Inc

"My wife tells me I'm a skeptic. . . but I don't believe anything she says!"

ESP Clinic

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'