Skeptic Enthusiasts Pillows

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Skeptic Tank.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Now do you believe me?"

Descartes's Demon

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Thank you for not praying."

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

Ponzi Schemes Inc

"Your god can't stop his own priests from raping children in his own churches. So what makes you think he can help you find your T.V. remote?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie: My name is Morgan Peterson and I work with the finance house here in the Netherlands. Our late client, Mr. Williams, bequeathed his entire $650,000,000 estate to you. He was a big fan of your show. Anyway, so that the funds can be transferred to you, all I need is your bank account number and password, your social security number, name, address, phone number, birthdate, and the times when you are away from home. There is no risk to you. Sincerely, Morgan Peterson. I will h

"My wife tells me I'm a skeptic. . . but I don't believe anything she says!"