Skeptic Enthusiast Pillows

'You're too skeptical. Think of all those heads out there - how CAN there be only life on ours?'

'Why is it that if someone tells you there are one billion billion stars in our universe alone, you believe them, but if they tell you a door has wet paint, you touch it to make sure!'

'The world is coming to something.'

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Channelling on the Cheap

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

The new Physics

"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"Call me crazy, but this guy is really starting to worry me..."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Govt. UK led by Seance

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

America's funniest investment scams

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'