Scepticism Fan Gifts

"I don't dislike you; I dislike your religion."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'OK, now you've seen it...'

Fortunes. Tarot. Palms. You punched the fortune teller just because he was smiling? I always wanted to strike a happy medium.

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Now do you believe me?"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Descartes's Demon

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Your karma will catch up with you!

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Thank you for not praying."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'It's a wonderful find, and yet there's something suspicious about it.'

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."

Ponzi Schemes Inc

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

"Your god can't stop his own priests from raping children in his own churches. So what makes you think he can help you find your T.V. remote?"

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'