Optimistic Skeptics Gifts

Yes, you will lose your hair. Magic Cue Ball.

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Protest

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"It all looks fine to me."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

Great news! Scientists have cured many, many diseases! They've used new discoveries and innovative techniques to cure inherited liver disease

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

Tom's last day.

Research -Development - Wishful Thinking

Newspaper headline is CUTE PUPPY RESCUED. Cat says: 'Sigh! It's all bad news in the papers, isn't it?'

'What the hell is that guy's problem?'

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

Do-over

"My glass is half empty"

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

'To be honest, I don't think the garden does need it anymore.'

World News for 2018

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

The Manifestation of Dreams

'Maybe you just can't have hope and change at the same TIME.'

"Well, one good thing about being crocodiles is that we tend to have the beach to ourselves..."

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

'Don't give up hope, Steve -- they may decided to relocate a football franchise here!'

Wishing Well 10c. . . Second Wish Free

'On a positive note, we're bottom feeders: We can't go lower than that...'

'C'mon everyone, let's hear: 'Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. . .'.'

Cats Always Land on Their Feet, "So I got this great job the day after we were made redundant"

No Mourners

Lottery Here. Don't you know the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math? Yes, but we're hoping for a huge tax refund.