Faithful Skeptics Gifts

'So God created the world in six days. Any sort of warranty on it?'

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."

'So help me, which god?'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'Oh my god!'

'If Jesus died to forgive our sins, the least we can do is commit a few.'

"Yes, I've read the bible. I've also read 'Harry Potter', but I don't believe in wizards."

'As far as I'm concerned...mathematics is a load of rubbish.'

"I think you've got the wrong person - I'm an atheist."

Brains Prohibited sign on door to church

Atheist Richard Dawkins attacks Pope's beliefs.

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

The Lamest Story Ever Told Is the One That You Tell Yourself Has To Be True

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."

"We are both 'godless'. I'm just the one who knows it."

"We'll release it under, 'fictional short stories'... it's not like anyone is going to take this literally."

"So what if Jesus was sent here to suffer and die... We all do that."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: '...And I like it! It's refreshing to see honesty in a religion for a change.'

"Of course I believe in God. He's as real as Santa."

"Why would your god (an incomprehensibly vast cosmic mind who created the entire universe from massive black holes to the tiniest of quantum particles) ever care about men having anal?"

Holy Water