Religious Skeptics Gifts

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: '...And I like it! It's refreshing to see honesty in a religion for a change.'

"So what if Jesus was sent here to suffer and die... We all do that."

"Why would your god (an incomprehensibly vast cosmic mind who created the entire universe from massive black holes to the tiniest of quantum particles) ever care about men having anal?"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"God works in mysterious ways."

Alternative Medicine

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Crystal Ball Plug

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."