Religious Skeptics Gifts

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: '...And I like it! It's refreshing to see honesty in a religion for a change.'

"So what if Jesus was sent here to suffer and die... We all do that."

"Why would your god (an incomprehensibly vast cosmic mind who created the entire universe from massive black holes to the tiniest of quantum particles) ever care about men having anal?"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

Crystal Ball Plug

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."