Sacred Skeptics Gifts

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Punk Reindeer

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

Crystal Ball Plug

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

House of Wishful Thinking

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

If there were no religion...s

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

Actual Results May Vary

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."