Spiritual Skeptics Gifts

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"Reason for return?"

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

"So, were you nervous when you met the Pope?"

'God has another message for you: Knock it off. You're being a downer.'

'I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe in Harvey.'

Has faith, but accepts evolution: ( GOD enclosed in walking fish).

Crystal Ball Plug

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Punk Reindeer

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"