Sacred Skeptic Gifts

'Is this guy serious?'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Punk Reindeer

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Crystal Ball Plug

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'