Religion Skeptic Gifts

"This just in... armed gunmen have stormed a church in Fairfield..."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

"Looks like Father's done a bunk."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"I was respectful of religion once. I found it did not suit me. So I vowed to never do it again."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Crystal Ball Plug

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I totally meant to do that."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"