Faith Skeptic Gifts

"We are both 'godless'. I'm just the one who knows it."

Holy Water

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."