Faith Skeptic Gifts

"We are both 'godless'. I'm just the one who knows it."

Holy Water

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Alternative Medicine

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."