Religion Skeptics Gifts

"This is the part of religion we could do without."

I hear you're an atheist now. It's the thing to be. What about me? What about you? I have the power to destroy you. So. I am your god! Rethinking position.

Uh-we have a minor problem and if it has created some discomfort, we do apologize! Oh yes.

If there were no religion...s

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Crystal Ball Plug

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"