Religion Skeptics Gifts

"This is the part of religion we could do without."

Uh-we have a minor problem and if it has created some discomfort, we do apologize! Oh yes.

If there were no religion...s

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Alternative Medicine

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Crystal Ball Plug

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."