Science Skeptics Gifts

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"He had the AstraZeneca vaccine and then he was hit by a meteorite."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

'Don't tell me what Aristotle says. He still believes men have more teeth than women.'

Creationist president: 'We have to cut the budget, so I'm keeping the astrologer, and letting thge astronomer go.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And, lo, the Almighty's Horse, Lucille, bestowed upon the universe a sacred meadow muffin, which got hardened by the sun and became the earth.'

GM foods

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Crystal Ball Plug

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"And if Ooh, Eeh, Ooh Ah Ah doesn't work, we'll try Walla Walla Bing Bang."