Academic Skeptics Gifts

"What did you expect from a failing education system?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"God works in mysterious ways."

Alternative Medicine

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Science deniers Soc.