Scholarly Skeptic Gifts

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"God works in mysterious ways."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

Doing Something About the Weather

Documentation Please

Science deniers Soc.

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."