Skeptical Scholar Gifts

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me I've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the Middle Ages is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with her

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"This report says a happy workforce is a productive workforce, but I need more proof before I go changing everything around."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"This'll show the Theology Department."

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

'A Federally-funded study released today proves conclusively that taxes are good for the economy....'

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."