Sceptical Scientist Gifts

"They say statins don't work but they must be doing something, I've never felt so lousy in my life!"

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"We fell for this last time remember..."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"After the election everything will be perfect and I will be able to fly."

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.