Scientific Skeptic Gifts

'I don't care about your stinking study. This time, it better not be the placebo.'

'We just don't get involved with things like double-blind tests and peer review. We're just a little mom-and-pop laboratory.'

Alternative Accountants

Doing Something About the Weather

COVID Myths

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."