Sophisticated Skeptic Gifts

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'OK, now you've seen it...'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

House of Wishful Thinking

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"Now do you believe me?"

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Descartes's Demon

Actual Results May Vary

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'Jesus? Jesus who?'

Alternative Accountants

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'