Sophisticated Skeptic Gifts

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'OK, now you've seen it...'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

"Now do you believe me?"

Doing Something About the Weather

House of Wishful Thinking

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Descartes's Demon

Actual Results May Vary

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

'So help me, which god?'

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.