University Skeptic Gifts

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Personnel. Now, I want you to forget everything you learned in school. I'm way ahead of you!

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Doing Something About the Weather

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Science deniers Soc.

Documentation Please

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."