Degree Skeptic Gifts

"It's not personal. The boss just doesn't like seeing people in so much debt for such a useless degree."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Alternative Medicine

"God works in mysterious ways."

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

Doing Something About the Weather

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

Science deniers Soc.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

Documentation Please

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."