Grade Skeptic Gifts

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Alternative Medicine

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

Science deniers Soc.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

Documentation Please

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"The drug has, however, proved more effective than traditional psychoanalysis."

RFK Jr Anti-Vax

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"I take it the tortoise wasn't available."

"I'm a rebel! I refuse the tyranny of evolution!"