Religious Skeptic Gifts

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Well, your wife’s wrong. There’s no image of the Virgin Mary anywhere in here!"

The Lamest Story Ever Told Is the One That You Tell Yourself Has To Be True

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

Atheist Richard Dawkins attacks Pope's beliefs.

Brains Prohibited sign on door to church

"We'll release it under, 'fictional short stories'... it's not like anyone is going to take this literally."

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"God works in mysterious ways."

Alternative Medicine

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"