Young Skeptics Gifts

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'

The first meeting.

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

"Oh, great—here comes that crazy #@!*%! Jeff who won't shut up about conspiracy theories. How's my hair look?"

"My teacher says I lack 'intellectual curiosity,' whatever that is."

Quiz Today. I don't remember clicking of any terms of agreement that cover this!

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

'You don't really want to go to this party, do you?'

Fish "I hate going back to school"

'I can't see any future in my business.'

"What did I learn in school today? - Frankly, Mom, you're better off not knowing."

Get rich today with cold fusion tomorrow! Invest now!: 'More like con - fusion! He's a con artist!'

"We didn't learn anything today. We had to unlearn what the substitute taught us yesterday."

Agnostics Society: Absolute worst place to ask for directions.

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe it got garbled in transmission.'

'I've traveled back in time to warn you...in the future you'll be charged a fee to watch television AND the commercials, you'll need a computer to hear music, and morons roam the streets with tiny phones they talk extremely loud into!'

'Pardon me, Miss - My therapist told me I should let my inner child out to play, so of course I'll be needing a sister...'

"That time facebook went down for a few hours isn't that big a deal. Little buddy!"

"I don't think you're being realistic."

"Do you have to believe everything a teacher, Principal and Superintendent tell you?"