Comedy Skeptic Gifts

'Oh, he's just read that he was not the only person in the world who thought Monty Python was unfunny.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

At the 'Feel Good' movie of the year.

'Not bad idea! But no quit day job.'

"Mind if I tweak it?"

Life on Earth - Why bother?

Not so heavenly

"What do the know!"

"This isn't a reality show. . . it's the news."

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"Let's go to my sister's house. They have the 'Absolutely No Super Hero Movies Channel.'"

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

Foreign Policy Mysteries Revealed!

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"You are gullible and naive. You believe untrained charlatans. You squander your money."

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

'It just doesn't seem right -- a computer-generated reality show.'

"I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. I've always felt that a film examining the complex interactions between a man, his fast car, various cool weapons and a host of bad guys DEFINITELY qualifies as a 'relationship' movie!"

'Do you believe in the Grass Piranha now my friend?'

'I don't care about your stinking study. This time, it better not be the placebo.'

"I'm still an atheist."