Comedic Skeptic Gifts

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Pop up begger.

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."