Comedic Debater Gifts

'How could I have driven at 50mph? I've only been in the car for five minutes.'

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"The first week back is always the hardest"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

Fisherman Funneral

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

'To cure your dog I suggest you change your aftershave lotion, Mr Lutshbuddle.'

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

Safety Pin

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'