Comedic Commentators Gifts

I'm not going to form a union just so you can refuse my demands. Besides, I'm just one guy. Work with me. Sign up with the Service Workers of America, then demand to negotiate higher wages and more breaks. I'll refuse, lay you off, bring in scabs, then eventually hire you back after you take a pay cut and sign away your right to collective bargain. C'mon, please. I've waited a lifetime for these circumstances. I'll do it for a raise.

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

"The predictions of the Loam farm model do make depressing reading...overheads and rents are skyrocketing, prices are down...but the government has suggested a strategy for solving the problem!"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

Pop up begger.

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Fisherman Funneral

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

Safety Pin

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."