Comedic Commentary Gifts

'Who screened the career day speakers, Ms Phelps?'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

"The first week back is always the hardest"

"How dare you not salute the goddess? You'll burn at the stake for this, damn heretic!"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'I hope we don't start getting competition from redundant bankers homes.'

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Fisherman Funneral

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

Safety Pin

End of the Pier Show

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'