Comedic Critique Enthusiast Gifts

'How were we to know oil would run out? We only sell the stuff.'

Your unemploment insurance is running out

Wedding Day Itinerary.

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

Pop up begger.

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"How dare you not salute the goddess? You'll burn at the stake for this, damn heretic!"

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

Fisherman Funneral

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'