Comedic Commentators Pillows

"The predictions of the Loam farm model do make depressing reading...overheads and rents are skyrocketing, prices are down...but the government has suggested a strategy for solving the problem!"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Pop up begger.

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

Fisherman Funneral

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

Safety Pin

"But we make a killing on auto repairs...if we encourage people to fix things themselves first."

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

Two women are hosting a radio show called Ask Sadie.