Comedic Critique Pillows

"Why would leaders agree to be honored with a mattress sale?"

"I told you so."

"There's a tax receipt on the back of the stick up note. We donate 10% of all proceeds to local charities."

'The patient said he brushed regularly, but his dentist knew better.'

I'M WITH STUPID, 'It's all right - He can't read.'

Barber holding up list of options.

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

Pessimists v Optimists.

Whiskey wars

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

Pop up begger.

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

'The footprints in the cheesecake were inconclusive, but my DNA was all over the peanut butter pie.'

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"How dare you not salute the goddess? You'll burn at the stake for this, damn heretic!"

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"Is there anybody there?"

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

Fisherman Funneral

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

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