Comedic Critiquer Pillows

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

"Your resume said you were fat."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Amateurs."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Pop up begger.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

The day that William Tell bought his first crossbow.

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble