Comedic Critique Lover Pillows

"Of course, at present Mademoiselle's neck is too long, but our Mr. Francis is going to change all that."

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

'And, if elected, I promise to reach across the aisle, if you know what I mean...'

'I have libertarian impulses.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Pop up begger.

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"How dare you not salute the goddess? You'll burn at the stake for this, damn heretic!"

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'