Comedic Conversations Enthusiast Gifts

"You know how some people feel naked without jewelry? Stewart is like that without a remote."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"The first week back is always the hardest"

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

Fisherman Funneral

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

"Connect the dots"

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"You can't beat Channel 5's sport coverage."