Comedic Conversations Enthusiast Pillows

"You know how some people feel naked without jewelry? Stewart is like that without a remote."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Ick! -- I'd never vote for anybody with hair like THAT!'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

"The first week back is always the hardest"

'It wasn't the strength of your argument. It was your breath.'

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

"I understand she's marrying him for his condominium in Fort Lauderdale."

Fisherman Funneral

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

So, what disturbing topic would you like to talk about today, Al? How about your new combover, Doctor?

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

No, thank you, I brought my own bag.

"Connect the dots"

Government a la Carte

Unhappy Cows from neighboring states visit California.

"We haven't been married long enough for you to reprimand my dog."

'Elections are easier to understand if you think of them as performance art.'

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'