Comedic Conversation Lover Gifts

How much money do you want? How much have you got?

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

Bar Therapy

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

"The first week back is always the hardest"

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about the screaming.

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

'Yes, I laugh at most things, but it doesn't mean I can't have a serious conversation...'

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

Analysts have said the US and Russia are closer to nuclear war than ever. The outcome of the election tomorrow will probably determine whether we live in mediocrity … or whether we suffer a nuclear apocalypse in which a crafty café owner, who's squirreled away scones and ammunition in a vast network of underground bunkers, could rise to become feudal warlord of a brand new world. So ... who are you voting for again? The person I've been preparing ever since 2nd grade to vote for.

'Mind you, this isn't a secret I'd tell just everybody.'

And what kind of banter do you want with that? I got light, witty, or wry. Breakfast.

'You misunderstand, squire. All I do is guarantee that my cars are USED!'

'Let's go some place where we can walk.'

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

'You've got to help me, Doc -- I keep switching long-distance companies!'

Lady praises date for being a good conversationalist.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

Lance, do you realize that the only thing we have in common is our relationship? Not true, Gloria

'I'll get my people to talk to your people, and we can go off and have a picnic.'

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

So, what disturbing topic would you like to talk about today, Al? How about your new combover, Doctor?

'I chase women, but only to tell them about investment opportunities.'

"Nice talking to you."

"There's a smidgen of Charlie Rose about you."

"Hi. My name is Jonathan, and I'll be your analyst today."

Men telling stories

'Yes, they are all my own teeth, it's my head that's false...'