Comedic Scientist Gifts

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

Spider Facts.

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

Candid Camera store.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Thumbing a Lift.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

E=Emcee Squared

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"If Einstein is correct, when we get back, my car will have been double parked for 320 years."

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

Unknown moments in art history. Manet? This is Monet --- I got some of your mail again.

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'