Comedic Physicist Gifts

E=Emcee Squared

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

It isn't widely known that Michelangelo was the first in a long line of cartoonists to buck the family tradition.

Candid Camera store.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Fluffy explains her string theory.

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Rapunzel's gone punk."

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

'A new musical - Einstein's quest - rehearsal'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Thumbing a Lift.

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

Working On Silly String Theory.

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'