Comedic Physicist Gifts

E=Emcee Squared

Candid Camera store.

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

Fluffy explains her string theory.

Zoo: No Hunting.

'Let's call him lucky!'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Man walking a long dog on a fishing rod.

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

Thumbing a Lift.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

"Mum can you come home quick, dad's started to make an exhibition of himself again!"

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

Monkey Business College

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'